Tony’s funeral January 3rd at 16.00. Thatcham Crematorium. Followed by TBA
Last night I slept quite deeply until about 03.00. My early evening dozing was probably responsible for the early o’clock awakening.
Another virtual dog walk dealt with those wakeful moments followed by some flexing. It was about 08.15, by now and I thought I just had time to walk H before Alex came over to visit. Wrong! She announced they would arrive 09.00. Wrong! She arrived at 09.30!
Oh well, I thought, Ali and Fleur would be off for some important retail therapy soon, so I would get H out and about before my friends arrived at 12.00.
Retail therapy holds its charms for them, but there were important matters to get on with.
I was chasing up the GP for a death certificate but they were not sure if it had been issued. Helpful that. It turned out that they had instructed Sue Ryder docs to provide it. In the grounds one of our GPs had not seen T in the last two weeks. A deep groan of exasperation was making itself known from within me.
We have not been impressed with our treatment and lack of support from Sue Ryder. The docs were delightful when I met them. But Doctor Eden … no death certificate… no phone call today… keeping me in the unknown again… T only saw the oncologist 6 days before he died. Her report was damning. Can’t anybody act with sense and speed?
Well, yes they can, it seems. Jemima, the OT can. She organised the swift removal of T’s hospital bed, bedside table and shower stool. Thank you Jemima, you have always been helpful and listened to me and provided sound advice. Nurse Claire, you’ve been as useful as a bucket with a hole in it. You are good at talking to me about medication. And that’s a big full stop there.
Alex is so displeased with SR that she has declined to run her Marathon for them. Cholsey Day Centre can get some support.
Alex got bogged down with phone calls about a funeral. And sorting one out. The first week in the New Year is already very booked up. Our celebrant friend, Trudi, is completely booked up so can’t do T. The second week in January clashes with Evie’s mock A Level exams and means T would have to be embalmed. Desperation was beginning to set in.
With nothing resolved, Ali set off just before 12.00, whereupon Val and Brenda arrived.
It was good to see them.
DCI had kindly agreed to man the house for NRS to remove the NHS furniture including t. To Pen’s especial relief, although its presence hadn’t bothered me. But, as I lie in bed in our own bedroom, restored as it used to be, T’s bed back in its rightful place, it feels good. He is back, keeping an eye on me, making sure I don’t get up to no good.
Our lunch out at the Waterfront was great. Laughter got itself involved, especially when I heard about yesterday’s special Christmas lunch. It had become very special. I was told I would have been ‘steaming.’ And I think they were probably right!
It was time to go home and for them to depart, these two wonderful friends. DCI was doing a great job with the hoover and had put our bedroom back to rights.
Pen arrived, on another 24 hour trip and that was lovely. Ali and Fleur arrived with a new wardrobe for me. Fleur chose the items, and her choice was very wise. A lovely dress and tops and a smart pair of trousers. I think they were trying to get me smartened up for the funeral, if we ever get the death certificate so it can happen.
We sat around a while chatting and reminiscing. The reminiscing was easier today but still so full of sadness.
This photo from a few years ago is one of my favourites…
This is the Tony I want to remember. Handsome, happy, not emaciated and ravaged by Alzheimer’s. And pain. This is the Tony that the (now into the hundreds) messages and tributes have described. Another couple of messages I have described below. This is the man everyone wanted a piece of, but I was in no hurry to share him.
Ali and F went home as did DCi. Pen hung around. And took little H out for a dark walk. I think the family are trying to protect me from my own company, but actually, having people around is great, but I could do with a little ‘me’ time.
I have it now.
The French house sale completed earlier in the day. Just the utilities to battle with. EDF for starters… That is a relief. France – watch out- H and I will be over in the spring.
So, I lie here in bed, after an early evening deep doze. Entirely comfortable with my memories. Knowing I have a great family.
Thought for the Day – just a couple of examples
Very sorry to hear this news. I was in Chambers with Tony for a shortish time but I knew him for a long time before that when I was in the CPS. He was very accomplished, clever and witty and we used him to prosecute some big and serious cases. Many condolences- particularly to Ursula xx
I am so proud of him, but I had somewhat lost sight of this thanks to Alzheimer’s. But it made him just a bit different. His essential qualities still lurked within that tired brain. And every so often they popped up to remind us who he really was.
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