Today is the first day without T around. I will have to get used to it. But I already miss the sound of his voice and the noises that indicated his presence. And there were plenty of those. From the messages we have received, it would appear he is already missed by many. Frankie’s blog says it all.
https://francescakathryn.substack.com/p/the-ones-who-love-us-never-really?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium
The events of yesterday are taking a while to sink in.
I had spent the night at the Illis along with Pen and Dave. Thank you to G for loaning me his bed.
I was knackered and emotionally wrung out, but I still could not sleep. I was probably trying too hard. In the early hours, I got taken on a virtual walk, on familiar territory, which dissipated any feelings of liveliness I might have had. I was soon back in bed and asleep.
Today we have been overwhelmed by messages of love and support, which are so much appreciated. Tony was loved by many people as well as his own family.
The family gradually gathered downstairs at Ali’s and general chit chat occupied the morning. But I knew I had to pick up the pieces of my life and I returned home.
A friend of Ali’s, Caroline, had volunteered to give our ensuite ( where T died) another clean up after the wonderful ambulance crew had done their best last night. They had warned us that it might need more work.
This space held particular horrors for me, and the people involved did an amazing job. I am beyond grateful. I was able to shower today without fear. I just need to obliterate the images I carry around with me.
I did some tidying up, stripped beds, gathered up medicines and removed some shoes which I found particularly upsetting.
H and I took this paltry collection to the tip.
A photo book popped through the letter box – it was from Dementia Adventure and was stuffed with pics of our Norfolk holiday last September. I’m so glad we went. But sorry T never saw the photo book which contains lovely photos.
And then H and I walked round a watery Castle Meadows. It was good to be out with her, running free. (H that is, not me!)
Waitrose was then in my line of fire because I had a parcel to collect.
H and I returned home for a few more chores and a snooze. The latter did not quite happen until after 19.00. And then it did! Dave had called round to give me a little company, I suspect, and he found yet more household chores to keep him busy.
I just dossed around. Thank you Dave.
Pen and Ali worked on a Fb tribute to T which has been well received and involved trawling through thousands of photos. Photos where he did not look drawn, gaunt and unwell but photos where his skin had colour and his face was plumpish. Pictures going back to when G was a baby and he is 14 now.
I’ve spent a chunk of the evening dozing. H hadn’t eaten much over the last 2 or 3 days but she has made up for that now. Tracey, our neighbour, has been good to me. Burt has kept his distance.
Being at home, alone, holds no difficulties for me so far. Our present home (of 3 years) was somewhere T felt comfortable and happy, so it works for me too. (BV made him happy too for over 40 years) .
Those were the days …
Thought for the Day snippets off Fb
I’m so sad to hear this and so sorry for you all 💔 Sending all my love and always remembering Tony McG as such a wonderful, funny, charismatic man. Lots of lovely memories of growing up as your neighbours 🥰 (I’ll let mum & dad know) xxx
My sincere condolences to you all. Tony was a phenomenal barrister. One of the best and a lovely, lovely man and colleague.
I’m so sorry to read this news. Tony was a fabulous barrister who I regularly instructed. He will be greatly missed by all that had the pleasure to know him. My thoughts are with you all. x
A beautiful man who had a beautiful wife and a beautiful family. Not bad innings at all. Devastating news but so glad I knew him for such a long part of my life. 💞
I was in a physics meeting when son Christopher phoned me. This is devastating news, I first met Tony in 1957 at the Liverpool Institute and we were immediately friends. Our families are interlinked. Tony was unique: amazing intellect; a funny man with a wicked sense of humour and a fantastic and well respected lawyer but, equally a devoted family man. I am so glad I visited you several times in Moulsford and, only a couple of weeks ago, we could chat on Zoom. I know Ursula, Tina, Penny and Alex have lost one of the most important persons in their lives. I grieve with them. Much love, Andrew
So sorry to hear this news.
I think of your Dad every time I play table football ….he was so shocked at how bad I was. So many giggles 🤣🥰.
Sending lots of love to you all 🥰 xx
So sad to see this, condolences to you and the family; and so sorry we did not come and see him in time.. Nick was reminiscing about cases, and cricket just the other day. X
Leave a Reply