My wonderful husband of over 52 years died today. This was not a calm or peaceful death precipitated by his lung cancer but one accompanied by a full on haemorrhage. We had been warned. Dr Panakis was correct. However, paramedics assured us he would have known nothing. And it was very quick.
The whole family knew he did not have long left. And we are all very very sad tonight, but know that his suffering is over. And there was quite a lot of that.
It is beyond a shame that the last six to seven years were ravaged by the Alzheimer’s that took control of his mind.
He took his departure suddenly, around 6.30 pm, after a lovely peaceful day, which followed several busy ones. The early morning had been busy, but by 09.30, my time was his and I gave it to him gladly, once he awoke from a deep sleep, as we just lay side by side, during the afternoon, not saying much. Just being there. Together.
I already miss him, checking that he is with me, checking that he has heard something I have said, and that he is doing what he should be. The house will be very quiet.
Tony – Thank you for all the good times and for all the adventures you took me on. For the freedom of the life I lived with you, for your quick wit and silly jokes.
I have no regrets, only gratitude for the love you gave me. And for the gift of our two wonderful daughters, their choice of the best husbands ever, after you, and for the gifts of the grandchildren that followed.
We really did have the best of times. Be at peace.
This is so much harder than I thought it would be.
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