Early Festive Meal

The night was absolutely awful. Pen had helped us get T into bed the evening before but he found it difficult/ impossible to get to sleep so there was a knock on effect for me.
I tried all sorts – sleep music, comedy, and we eventually drifted off towards midnight.

But at some point in the early hours, I became aware that T had gone walk about. He appeared to spend time in the hallway, he fiddled in the bathroom , he switched all the overhead lights on in the bedroom and the hallway and he disturbed Tina with chat . Of course he does not know what he is doing. I think he eventually must have got himself back to bed. The details are hazy and better forgotten.

We awoke eventually around 06.00. I offered H the great outdoors and she accepted with alacrity. Then I realised the reason why… her nicely maturing bone. She had carefully secreted it within the garden giving it time to develop its enticing odour.

And I performed my ward round. T was quite compliant. He fell asleep again for a while.
Tina tucked into some brekkie and T was offered a crumpet but failed to eat it. His mood was not too bad.

I prepped up some stuffing and some bread sauce for our feast later today.

Tina then took Heidi for a walk around the lanes. It was absolutely pouring with rain and she had to return to borrow some decent anti-rain protection. And I managed to get T into the shower, and he even sat on the new shower stool. I now hand him a pre-soaped sponge, which if we are lucky, is not so showered that all the soap has run off it before it makes contact with his body.

We got T into his chair in the sitting room but he was not grateful and his mood was fragile.
Pen came to help us before she took Tina with her and they went to meet Frankie at Didcot. Not the nearest station, but the nearest one the train would stop at.

Train troubles and all that.
So lovely to see Frankie so happy at the end of her first term at Uni. What a three months for her! Happy to be back in the family fold too.

T is so wobbly he can’t get himself around safely. It is lovely having so many younger helping hands, despite it being hard for the younger generation to deal with.

So I took the decision to cancel our Christmas lunch with the Carers next week. But Pen stepped in and has offered to Dad sit on Thursday so I can go on my own.
So I contacted Brenda who contacted the venu, and he is now off the list .

We headed for the Illis with the wheelchair for T and a carrier bag of festive accompaniments.
The whole family was together for the first time in ages. And possibly for the last ever.

I looked around as photos were taken and realised that of the 9 people around me, apart from Tina and DCI, they were all of our seed, directly or indirectly. What a wonderful group of people. I felt proud. DCR, sadly, was not present because he has been very poorly. This is unheard of but we think he might be on the mend and we missed him.

The massive turkey roll was beautifully cooked with roast potatoes to die for. We had sprouts and crackers and Prosecco amongst other things. Or no secco in our case. T rose to the occasion and did his best to liven the party. He hasn’t been eating for days but Fleur fed him titbits.

It was quite a lively meal anyway. He won’t remember it, but we will, and I think it was nice for Tina. Pen had brought some really delicious Pannatone to finish.

Pen still had the long journey home to deal with, so we said our goodbyes and she and the girls drove over to Moulsford help us get T back into the house. This is where we are at now. He was still very wobbly. But lay down and went to sleep. So did I , on the sofa. It was around 18.30.

I woke up to find a disturbed and confused T wandering the house, switching the lights in and off. He was very uncompliant, swearing at me. It is at times like this that I run out of ideas.
I eventually got him back to sitting on the edge of the bed. But he either did not understand how to lie on it or did not know how to. A bit of patience and subterfuge eventually got him straddled on the bed, although he threw off the covers.

Lying down was preceded by a tussle over his bedtime medicine. This is important because it is given to preempt bloody coughing in the morning. He only took in a half dose of morphine.

It is taking me a while to learn to give him time for his anger and confusion to dissipate. This is sometimes accompanied by false imagination / hallucination.

Life can be hard enough, but death is a bugger.

So it has been a day of highs and lows and emotional swings.

I must mention George’s amazing goal at football – from far out! Great work G.

And I will finish the Christmas tree saga another day.